By: Scott Pilgrim
Some pretty important people have said never to have the first sentence of anything you write be "Hi my name is...." Hi, my name is Scott Pilgrim, this is the second sentence to my short biography. I only feel the need to inform you that it's a "short biography" because I really don't feel like I have anything important to say about myself that you won't already figure out by the verbal daggers I will come to assault feature films with. The men, all of them are definitely men, except maybe Ferris Bueller (I've never seen his adam's apple), I co-write these movie reviews with are only genius in their interior. I am definitely the most handsome of them all, and also the most exaggerative of them.
To sum up my philosophy on movies, fan-tastic (as in not as good as the fans make it out to be, ever) or not, I invite you to watch this short clip I came across on line:
When I type "on line", it's not a typo, I mean that I have just finished a line of cocaine. Anyway, my counterparts might even say behind my back, but close enough that I can still hear them, that I'm cynical and have no regard for anyone but myself and that my contempt for all things stretches about as thin as floss and to that I say "Fuck you, I hate you all". But, I would never say that to them because they're my friends.
The task we have, collectively at Back Talk, is no easy one. We are here to submit to your desire for smut. We are also good at smut, and as long as the American Film industry keeps cranking out shit, we'll keep talking it. So strap on, I mean strap in because you're thoughts are about to be said out loud for the world to hear. "Did you like that new movie?" "I don't know the reviews for it were good, let's check it out" "Okay!" these things will not happen if you stick with us. Our goal is to make sure you hate it before you pay 20 dollars to see it.
Thank you, assholes, for reading this.
Enjoy!
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